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Written last night (because the network was down):

Our Internet connection is down currently, and it’s storming like all get-out, so I thought I’d do a little updating to the ole blog.

Auggie is still working on getting the walking thing going. He’ll surprise us with a couple of steps here and there. Basically, there’s no telling when he’ll go for it, so I haven’t caught him on tape yet.

And for those of you who were concerned about his health last week, the fever was gone by the next morning. Then, the drooling began, so I guess he’s teething. It was a pretty big relief for me, because I was terrified that he had infected his playgroup with a terrible virus. Whew!

I’m listening to NPR’s “Talk of the Nation” where they’re discussing the benefits of breastfeeding. I was actually surprised when they said that 60% of women in the US breastfeed. I know that the statistic drops to 35% past 6 months. This is compared to 90% in European countries.

I’m glad that no one has been negative so far. I must say that I haven’t had one negative experience while I’ve been nursing Auggie thus far. (Knocking wood.) We’ve nursed all over the place, too. People are very positive. I don’t know why I expected bad things. Perhaps because people are more apt to speak of negative experiences than positive ones, maybe? I don’t know.

I love the way Neil Conan says “breastfeeding” — so perky! And it’s great that the guests have been so openly saying that formula is inferior to breastfeeding. And that it’s cheaper. And that it is a wonderful experience for both moms and babies. And that it should help you get more rest, not make you more exhausted.

My Auggie is sick today. He’s been running a fever of 102 degrees. He has no other symptoms, other than the listlessness that comes with having a fever. Poor little guy. I hate it when he’s sick. (Even if it means that he’s a little less active, he’s still 10 times as clingy.)

The only way he would nap today is in my arms. While that is fun for nostalgia’s sake — in reality, not so fun.

The really crappy thing is that we had a playgroup yesterday. (I swear he wasn’t sick then, guys!) Of course, all the young ‘uns were sharing sippy cups and eating each others’ snacks off the ground and whatnot. I just hope none of them gets it. (crosses fingers)

We even went to MoKaBe’s last night. That’s how completely surprised I was by this illness! We hung out and I drank 2 iced lattes. I was surprised that I had such a hard time sleeping last night. Guess there’s a little caffeine in those lattes. I’m such a coffee wimp.

Now I feel like a terrible mommy.

Sure, I know it’s not my fault that he’s sick, but I feel so dang helpless! I guess if he is still feverish in the morning, I’ll call the pediatrician. If we actually go into the office, that will be his 4th visit to the doctor in less than a month! BlueCross BlueShield is going to start sending me death threats! BTW, on Tuesday, the opthalmologist recommended that we set up an appointment to have Auggie’s tear duct “probed.” I’m all like, ‘did you have to use that word?’ (Not really.) This means that Auggie will have to go to the hospital, get anesthesia gas to put him to sleep, and then undergo a 5-minute procedure where the doc inserts a teeny-tiny silicon wire into his tear duct to see if there are any obstructions. If there is something, he will insert a tiny tube to help the tears drain for a month. No word on if he has to be put under again to have the tube removed. One would assume, yes, though, I suppose.

Those of you that know us are going, ‘wha..? I thought that whole blocked tear duct thing took care of itself when Auggie was, like, seven months old.’ We thought it was A-OK too. However, when he started teething early in June, his eye got crusty again. This wasn’t too surprising, because whenever Auggie has gotten a cold, the eye reverts to crustiness. However, it never went away. So, we tried the eye drops that the doc prescribed way back when his blocked tear duct was initially diagnosed when he was two months old. That didn’t work. We went into the doctor (visit #1) and were prescribed 10 days of Augmentin. This seemed to do the trick, but the day after he took his last dose, the eye was crusty again. Back to the doctor for visit #2. She prescribed a different kind of eye drop, which cut down on the yellow goo, but not the overall crustiness. It is obvious that the eye is not draining properly. So we call the opthalmologist (aren’t you impressed that I know how to spell opthalmologist, anyway?) and we go in to see him on Tuesday (visit #3). Long wait in the waiting room with a bunch of old people, but he was nice. He comes in and, bing-bang-boom, we’re discussing my little guy’s first (and hopefully only) surgery. I mean, this guy hasn’t been cut since his cord was severed. Not even down there.

That’s $45 in copayments over the past month! Sheesh. Pesky tear duct.

What I’ve learned from my baby:

* Every baby is different. What worked for me may not work for you. So take all advice/anecdotes/wisdom (not just mine) with a grain of salt. Learning for yourself is half the fun, right?

* Not only can I put my baby in a sling, but the pouch of the sling can be used to stow a burp cloth, wallet, keys or any other small item. So I don’t have to tote that diaper bag into the bank with me.

* If I have any questions at all about breastfeeding, whether it’s if the baby’s latching on, why my nipples hurt like all get out, how much the baby should be wetting/pooping, etc., I am not afraid to call a lactation consultant or a La Leche League leader. They are there to help and no question is too stupid!

As someone who “felt” that something wasn’t right with her baby’s latch and didn’t ask and then reaped the consequences, I can’t stress this enough. I’m all for trusting my body and all, but without an integrated support system of family members and friends who are breastfeeding experts (as it was in the past), I wish that I had utilized these modern-day experts better early on.

* Pay attention to the baby’s diapers. Keep track of how many wet and poopy diapers he has every day until he is a couple of weeks old and he’s got a pattern established. If he is not wetting enough, this is a problem. I learned this the hard way. Pooping is important, but this seems to vary a lot from baby to baby. Auggie never pooped as much as every other bf baby, it seemed. Those babies all seemed to poop after every feeding as newborns. Sometimes Auggie would go every-other day — lots. We’re talking major blow-outs here.

* Nothing contains newborn bf baby poo. Pretreat those adorable little outfits before throwing them into the hamper, or they’ll be trashed.

* Sing what I know. Don’t worry about the nursery rhymes and other lullabies. He has no idea what I’m saying anyway. For the first few months of Auggie’s life, Tim sang every Guided By Voices song that he knew to calm the baby.

* For us, and I want to stress FOR US, sleeping with us for the first seven or eight months of his life was a bad idea. It was great the first few months, since he needed to nurse at night, but I’ve come to believe the advice: at three months, have the baby sleeping where you want them to be sleeping at one year. Now that I have a very kicky 11 month-old, trust me, I want him sleeping in his own bed.

I loved the idea of having a “family bed” — I did! But it became clear early on that he was using nursing as a crutch to fall asleep. Now, when babies are newborns, they sleep all the time, so nursing to sleep is a natural cycle. However, we came to believe that it was important that Auggie learn to fall asleep on his own. This was extremely hard to do at seven months. He liked sleeping with us. He liked nursing all night long. It took weeks of crying (his and ours) to get him comfortable with the concept. Now, he is much more comfortable sleeping in his bed than ours. When I bring him into bed to nurse when he wakes up at 6 in the morning, he doesn’t go back to sleep. He’s ready to get up and start the day with daddy. Mommy and daddy wish he would nap…

* Auggie took at least one bottle a day everyday from 2 weeks to 8 weeks, and when I stopped giving them to him at 8 weeks, he had totally forgotten what to do with them by 11 weeks. He never took a bottle again. We started him on a sippy cup at 4 months, but he still didn’t really get the hang of that until 6 months or so. So we didn’t really go out for longer than an hour or two for a long time. It was tragic. We missed the Dismemberment Plan.

* Cloth diapers are a beautiful thing.

* Used baby clothes are God’s gift to budgets.

* Nursing was not only the best choice for my baby, it was a great choice for me. After having him naturally, I was ready to jump tall buildings in a single bound once I got home. Not wise, when you’ve got a placenta-sized open wound inside yourself. Nursing him around the clock kept me off of my feet. The awesome hormone prolactin kept me relaxed. It still does. We dozed together while he nursed, which helped me get that much-needed rest. Now, nursing has evolved into not only a means of providing nurishment and security for August. It is comfort for a bumped noggin, an instant chill-pill for a fussy, cranky boy, a time-out for a frazzled mommy. We reconnect, literally and emotionally.

* I think the thing that kept me nursing, even at the darkest hours of the night when the baby slept, yet I had to wake up and pump to build my supply back up, was thinking about how much I would regret quitting. Looking at the nursing shirts I had bought while still pregnant and thinking about how I would never get to use them. Thinking about the bottles, the nipples, the cans and cans of nasty-smelling formula. I decided to stop the pumping and just nurse until my supply was totally gone. Here I am, 11 months later, and nothing’s dried up yet!

That’s all I can think of right now.

Auggie is slowly, slowly working up to walking. Yesterday, he officially took a step. Towards the record player. Yes, he is his parents’ son! Today, two steps. Tomorrow, who knows?

At the doctor yesterday, he weighed 22 pounds, 15 ounces. No wonder my neck, arms and back are killing me! Must find time/money to get back to wonderful massage therapist Angie, who rocked my world after Mother’s Day…

My mother thinks I’m crazy for using cloth diapers with Auggie. I think it’s crazy how much disposable diapers cost, and how much of a given it is that everyone will use them. (See also near-daily rants about formula and the poor, circa October 2001.) My friend Heidi makes these totally beautiful, incredibly functional cloth diapers and sells them to me at a discount! You can visit her web site at Sugarbums. It’s not that big of a deal for me. Just an extra load of laundry every couple of days. Yes, cleaning out the poo is disgusting, but you get over any poo-squeamishness very quickly once you have a baby. I guess her main objection is the initial cost of the diapers (between $10-12 per diaper, a little more per cover). For example, I just got 10 diapers for $100. But I also just shelled out $25 for 136 disposables (we still use them at night and when we travel) at Sam’s for the cheap-o Smiles brand (so old-school, they have Muppet Babies on them!). If we were using disposables full-time, those would last between 2 and 3 weeks. The 10 cloth diapers I bought will last at least a year, if not longer. So that’s $100 (+$100 for diapers I already own + $25 for the used diaper covers I already own) for a total of $225 for a year’s worth of cloth diapering. Disposables, at a case every three weeks ($25 x 17 cases per year) would cost $425. Plus, I can feel good that we’re not filling an entire landfill with my son’s poopy diapers.

Whoa! That’s enough math for one night. I’m probably going to have that nightmare about missing my Calculus final again. Does anyone else do this? Occasionally, I’ll have an extremely vivid nightmare that I’m in college and I remember that I’m missing a test or a final on a course that I forgot that I had or never went to all semester. It’s very stressful, and I’m completely relieved when I wake up and realize that I graduated five years ago.

Auggie thinks it’s pretty neat to feed us now. He likes to pick up Cheerios and hold them up to us. Sometimes he lets us eat them, sometimes he pulls his hand away just in time and eats the Cheerio himself. It’s very entertaining. Especially when he holds the Cheerio in his fist and there’s no possible way to extract it. Another funny sight in the morning is Auggie holding court in his throne/high chair, bestowing Cheerios upon his loyal subjects below (the dogs).

And when did we get to be so dang social? We have some sort of gathering every single weekend this month! We are going to be sick of barbecue by the end of July…

I am so embarassed that it has been nearly three whole months since I’ve updated here. As usual, the same lame excuses come to mind about life being crazy, the baby being crazy, me being crazy. But I know that you don’t care. You’ve probably deleted your bookmark of the page, don’t even check up here anymore…

The sad part is that I can’t even promise to do better! It’s summer and goodness knows when I’ll have a moment to be back again. Just try to check back in every now and again when you think about it. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get lucky.

So, some major Auggie milestone updates for those of you who haven’t seen or heard from us lately:

* He’s been crawling since we went to the Derby in early May. Funny story: It took a hotel room with carpeting to finally give hime enough traction so he could get the crawling thing down. Guess the hardwood floors here at home were just to slippery.

* He says “dadadadada” and “mamamamama” but doesn’t really know what they mean. His laugh is the cutest, funniest thing ever.

* He weighs 22 pounds, 9 ounces, which is just about average, believe it or not. Seems huge to me, but I’m no doctor.

* He’s working on standing unsupported. This is pretty much the last thing to conquer before the walking begins. As yet, no steps.

* He’s still pretty bald, but he’s getting more hair all the time! It’s blonde, though, so you still don’t see it much. Check out the Pictures section for some recent shots.

* He eats like a madman now. He’s gradually moving away from the baby food, as he is way more interested in what we’re eating now. He loves guacamole!

* He’s nursing less and less. This is pretty bittersweet for me because it is just another reminder of how quickly he is growing up! Plus, we worked so hard at this nursing thing. I can’t believe it’s almost over. But who knows? He may continue with nursing a couple of times a day for a while. Which is fine with me. It’s amazing how a little mommy time turns his mood around, calms him down, makes him smile.

As for me, I’m having a great summer. Auggie and I have been hitting the pools, walking the dogs every morning, chilling with the SLPlaygroup and working harder than ever. Humana has been giving me tons of work and I just try to keep up. As a matter of fact, I’m procrastinating right now…

We bought a blow-up pool today and the whole family (dogs and all — yes, we’re total hoosiers) got in to cool off on this hot, humid afternoon. The dogs weren’t thrilled, but Auggie had the time of his life. My boy is getting TAN too! The SPF 30 has prevented any sunburns, but he is quite the bronze man.

Oh, and I got an iBook. It rocks. So hard. Tim hooked me up with an Air Base Station, so I’ve got DSL anywhere within 150 feet of the thing. Now, all I need is Microsoft Office and I’m in business! Oh, and Adobe Font Folio, Photoshop, Illustrator, another 40 gigs of hard drive…

I made my first movie. It’s called “Jillian’s First Birthday Party.” Ironically, but not surprisingly, Auggie is the star.

So, that’s what’s up with us. What’s up with you?

I just wanted to post to everybody that we’ve got a whole bunch of new pictures up in our picture section. I found a tool that I could pop onto the website that makes resizing pictures soooo much easier, so there’s a lot less time intensive work that we have to do editing pictures. Also, it had been forever since we’d put any pictures up. So the easiest way to see everything would be to enter 1/20/02 into the pictures taken from date and hit the go button.

Apologies, apologies for not updating in so long. No good excuse, really, just life going by so fast that I do all I can to keep up. Whine”¦

Plus, we’ve got big news! Auggie got his first tooth last night! It’s so weird — nothing yesterday, but a rough patch on his gums today! Plus, he pulled himself up to standing for the first time last night. I’m like, whoa, slow down! You’re growing too fast, little boy!

He’s going to be eight months old tomorrow. I can’t believe it. Heck, four more weeks and he’ll officially be outside of me for longer than he was inside. Crazy.

So, what’s been going on, you ask? Well, let me tell you, not a whole lot. We’ve been hanging out, waiting for spring. Since it seems like spring is finally here, we’re totally excited to get out of this house. Auggie has a tree swing that I bought for him back in February, so we’ve been taking advantage of that lately. He thinks it’s pretty cool.

August also loves the dogs now. He thinks that Kirby is the funniest thing ever. I mean, Kirby can be asleep on the back of the chair with his head on my shoulder and August just cracks up. Who knows why? Auggie also loves cats. We’ve visited friends that have cats and he is totally riveted whenever they’re around. He tried to grab them, like he does the dogs, but the cats are too fast.

A funny moment: August trying to catch Coco’s tail, which is wagging too quickly for him to grasp. He doesn’t seem to understand.

Tim and I are trying to teach August some sign language, which is fun. It seems that when you teach a baby sign language, they will be able to sign something like 75 words, even though they can’t say a single one yet. So far, we’re working on eat, more, milk and all done. I can’t wait until he makes his first sign! Especially since the only word he says right now is “dadadadadada.” Not that he realizes what it means”¦

August is eating everything in sight now. He loves Cheerios, bread and chicken. He’s still nursing great, just really spacing out his feedings now.

I’m feeling pretty nostalgic already. I just got home from a La Leche League meeting and seeing the mommies there with their tiny little ones makes it all the more poignant that my little baby is getting closer and closer to being a little boy. Since this is the only one that Tim and I want to have, each moment is that much more precious. I want to take every day and put it in a little box in my mind, so I can go back and open it and remember how wonderful he was on Day 160 or Day 201. Sniff.

I went to an old high school friend’s baby shower yesterday who informed me that she was only going to nurse for 3 or 4 months, until she goes back to work. I just smiled a little smile and thanked goodness that at least she was going to nurse, knowing full well that if she nurses for 3 or 4 months, there’s no way she’s going to want to stop just because she’s going back to work! It’s hard to imagine that nursing him would be such a wonderful part of mothering my baby, but it really is. It’s so much more than just a meal. It’s a dose of happiness when he’s sad, instant relief when he’s hurting, a potent sleep aid when he’s not wanting to close his eyes and a quiet moment for me in our increasingly hectic days.

Sigh.

If possible, I’m going to try to type quietly, because it seems like nothing wakes up lil Auggie faster than the clickety-clack my fingers on the keyboard. I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, but I just woke up from napping with him.

I don’t know why that’s embarrassing, other than my latent puritan work ethic that makes me feel like every waking hour should be productive. Well, you know what? Having this baby is definitely helping me to get over that feeling.

I mean, when your days are filled with endless silly games and stories and voices and kisses that try to keep a baby entertained, you redefine your definition of “work” pretty quickly. I’ve never been so exhausted in my life before I spent an entire day taking care of a newborn by myself. And it’s not like it’s full of heavy lifting and sweating or anything like that, but somehow I’m so tired at the end of the day. It’s such a relief when Tim gets home to help out.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m also having the time of my life. Watching August grow, hearing him laugh at something I’ve done, helping him figure out the world — that’s better than any other employment I can think of.

Hey! New pictures are up! Go check em out!

Wow. I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted! Forgive me, please!

Can I offer a measly excuse that it has been unbelievably busy through the holiday and since? I know, I know, that’s no excuse! Please accept my humblest apologies. I will do my best to post more regularly.

The news: August is now 5 months old, 18 pounds and so long that it scares me to even think about it. We had to buy a bigger car seat for him because he outgrew his wee infant seat!

The holidays were great. We spent the long Christmas weekend down in Cape Girardeau and visited with family galore. August totally cleaned up, especially in the “toys that make noise” department.

The funniest thing now is how totally into the dogs he is. He just thinks that they are too funny. He’s always reaching for them, trying to grab their ears and touch their faces. Right now, he’s twirling around in his saucer-dealie, trying to reach Booker.

Tim and I took a big step last night. We put the dogs in their crates for the night, instead of letting them sleep with us, as they have done ever since we got Booker nearly five years ago. It’s just getting too crowded in our bed with all four dogs and August and us. But it was really weird, not having a little wiener dog snuggled up by my feet, and I didn’t sleep well at all.

What’s going to be totally bizarre is when August finally starts spending the night in his crib and Tim and I have the bed all to ourselves. Crazy! We could, like, snuggle and stuff. Maybe August won’t be sleeping with us much longer”¦

Another thing that August loves right now is his Jumpster, which is a little seat dealie that you suspend from a doorway and he can jump up and down and twirl around in. He thinks that is pretty neat.

We have lots of new pictures to put up from the holidays and whatnot, I just need to sit down and get them captioned and dated and stuff. I’ll work on that this weekend, so stop by on Monday for a look! I’m so scandalized that the last photos we have up are from the end of November! I mean, August is a totally different baby now! (Not really, just trying to drum up some web site traffic”¦)

We’re really starting to get excited about our annual trip to the Kentucky Derby in May. Tickets are purchased, room is paid for, haircut appointment is set”¦ I can’t wait for May! It will be interesting, though, dealing with Derby festivities and the boy. I don’t think I’ll be hitting the rock shows, at any rate. And bars are pretty much out too. So why am I going exactly? Oh yeah, to see all of my friends and to drink Heine Bros. Coffee! Woo hoo!

Check back soon for pictures and details on August’s new friends — Mr. Banana, Mr. Avocado and Ms. Sweet Potato!